(Sunday Paper, Volume II, Issue 51)

I have a joke that I've never told on stage.

It's a funny idea, but I haven't put in the work to turn it into an effective bit.

But it might work in writing:

Since parenting is such an investment, I am amused by the idea that we name our kids after what we gave up, or didn't purchase, to have them.

The basis for this joke was that in 2008 or so Kathy and I were thinking about getting an HD TV. Instead, we had our second child.

And we still have the same TV we've had since 2003.

But that's about to change.

Sometime in the next couple of weeks, we're treating ourselves to a new TV.

I'm excited about it now, but to be honest it's not a huge deal.

I've never needed a huge screen or the crystal-clear picture or whatever gets everyone riled up about a television.

I just need my games and whatever shows we happen to be watching at the time.

But I do recognize that we've fallen far behind the times.

Our TV was a pretty good TV when we got it....back in 2003.

We kind of just missed out on the high-def situation, and then, of course, there were so many other things you could do with a TV...like for years I've been watching my baseball games on the computer or phone when I could have maybe adapted them to the TV somehow from the source on the computer.

And I guess there are tons of possibilities with the TV connecting to the wireless that I haven't even thought about.

I'm looking forward to learning about what those are and catching up with the times.

But it's interesting to think about our lives with this television. It pre-dates our marriage (by at least six months, possibly a year). I've had the TV longer than I've had kids.

The first thing I remember watching on it was the 2003 baseball playoffs. (I watched the Bartman game on the TV in Watertown, but Aaron Boone's homer I watched at Kathy's parents' house in Sudbury.)

It's where I watched the Jets' AFC title game runs in 2009 and 2010 and the Mets in the 2006 and 2015 post-seasons....all of which ended with a pretty sad me sitting on the couch.

It went from cable to satellite to cable again, TiVo (back when this was our most technological advancement in regards to TV) to DVR, and VCR to DVD. (Just kidding. We never moved past the VCR. I still have it connected to the TV. And we've never had a legit DVD player! For years we just used my old PlayStation.)

I'm not really sad about losing the TV. (And I don't really think of it as an 'old friend', as this post's title may lead you to believe.) This transition just got me thinking about the many changes since 2003. And it's kind of scary to think of the major life events that will take place during the life span of the new TV we will get.

I'm not going to miss the old TV - I won't shed a tear when we put the new one in.

I'll save that for when we finally get rid of the downstairs couch.

Writing

*Wrote a couple of essays this week that I threw out into the submissions world. They're both humorous and I think they're pretty good. We'll see if we can't find a good home for them.

Comedy

*I forgot last week to post what I was doing this week. I apologize for that, but remember you can always find out what's happening at the 'Comedy Shows' link at the top of the page. (Except now. I have nothing booked for the final couple of weeks of 2017 and I'll get the 2018 dates up there when there's stuff to promote. Keep checking.)

*But it was a good week. Performed at a room I hadn't done before on Monday night - it was great. Then on Wednesday I returned to a room where I hadn't been in a while, and that was great too. The first one is every Monday in Fall River - I'll get back there and let you know when I do. The other show is the second Wednesday of every month in Quincy, and it's usually a mix of improv and stand-up. This show was all stand-up but the improv group that hosts the show gave out gifts to all the comedians based on their act. It was a ton of fun.

*The next couple of weeks are going to break format so I won't have a chance to tell you about upcoming shows until after the New Year. Put these on your radar: January 1st I will once again participate in '100 First Jokes', performing a new joke for the first time on stage in either the 7:30 or 9:30 show. Check the link above for info. And on Tuesday the 2nd I'll be on a show at Redbones in Somerville that's a pretty new show but is in a great spot and will hopefully continue to gain traction and do well.

What I've Been Enjoying

*Here's a little local inside baseball for anyone who doesn't know this and happens to be reading: If you're heading east on Route 9 this time of year in this area it can be kind of a nightmare. But, as long as you're not going to Shopper's World or the mall, I'm going to let you in on a little secret (that maybe you already know but I only recently discovered): All of the parking lots from Legal Sea Foods down through Michael's connect...so if you're trying to get to Sherwood Plaza you don't have to inch your way through the Route 9 traffic. You need to be careful, because there are some people who come zooming through that back area behind the stores. And I am not recommending this as a cut-through, only as a path to a destination. Like, if you happen to need to go to The Christmas Tree Shop on a busy Saturday afternoon to find a cheap mug for the fifth grade winter mug exchange - it's perfect. And it might have been the highlight of my week.

Notes

*Why did I write about the TV now if I don't have the new one yet? Good question. The answer is the next two weeks are booked. Next week I'll do the Q and A for Christmas Eve because that worked well last year. (Got a good response to my call for Q and A's on Facebook, so the article is a go. But if you have a Q that you want me to A it's not too late - you can post it in the comments below or in the comments on the Facebook post and I'll include it in next week's post.) And then for New Year's Eve I'll do a little reflection on my goals for 2017 and what I'm hoping to accomplish in 2018. If you want to refresh your memory, here's last year's Q and A post for your enjoyment. And if you want to brush up on my what I hoped to accomplish in 2017, here's the link to that post. Spoiler alert: I feel good about 2017 and I'm looking forward to building on that in 2018.

*Bowl games started yesterday. If you need me for any of the next 14 days in a row chances are you'll find me watching football games, between the NFL and college bowls.

*Hahahaa. Can you imagine if I had to train for the marathon and run in these 20 degree temperatures this week? Goodness gracious what a nightmare that would be. I could barely handle those temps driving to pick the girls up from school this week.

*The girls' take on the new TV? They remarked, "We can finally watch [I forget what show they named here but clearly it's something that airs in HD] without the sides being cut off!"

*Also, we watched 'Elf' this week. Very appropriate, considering when Buddy is Etch-A-Sketching his goodbye note he apologizes for sticking cookies in the VCR. 'Elf' came out in 2003, so when you consider it was not a stretch to reference a VCR in a 2003 movie it's not so bad that I still have my VCR connected to my TV. It's like our TV was just frozen in 2003.