Look at this optimistic dope. He has no idea he's about to have his heart broken again.

(Sunday Paper, Volume I, Issue 20)

Well, that was heartbreaking.

You might be wondering why I allow myself to get so worked up about the Mets.

I promise not to spend too much time on sports today...because I think it's less about sports and more about me as a person.

(Also, I have a few friends who would be disappointed if I didn't post something about a Mets season-ending loss. So this is what they get.)

I am unfailingly loyal and optimistic. It is one of my greatest traits.

It is also one of my biggest weaknesses.

I've learned, in interpersonal relationships, to ease up on the loyalty piece. I've been let down by enough people to know that sometimes I am 'failingly' loyal.

But when it comes to the Mets I just always believe the best is going to happen...even though they've rarely given me reason to believe that's true.

I wish I could care less...I've managed to do that with the Jets. I'm not sure why that is - maybe it's the convenience factor. It is a hassle to see the Jets in person and for years the Jets would break my heart in person and then I'd have to sit in traffic and stew about it even more. Even if it's bad leaving the Citi Field parking lot I know it's usually not more than a 10-minute ride back to my parents' house.

But back to this optimism:

Sometimes I'm right. But, like, only half right.

Because when things looked bleakest this summer - when the Mets dipped to two games below .500 in mid-August - I thought, they're getting healthy and now all they have to do is win three out of every four and they can possibly get a playoff spot. And that's exactly what they did.

And then I thought with Noah Syndergaard on the mound, anything can happen in the playoffs.

And, well, I was kind of right, because anything did happen but it just wasn't what I wanted to happen. Maybe I should be more specific with what I want to happen.

So I want to stop caring this much, but I can't. I'm wired weirdly when it comes to the Mets.

Because now I'm already laying out optimistic hopes for next year.

They'll be healthy. Maybe they'll do everything they were supposed to do this year fully armed because everyone will be back and in good health and it'll be great all the way to the World Series and nothing will go wrong.

But something probably will go wrong, because they're the Mets.

But I'll still believe, because I'm me.

And someday I'll be right.

And as low as I feel when they lose...I bet that feeling will be the best.

Writing

*The work keeps coming. This is an unprecedented busy time in my writing life, and it feels pretty good. Don't let that discourage you from offering me work, though. If you're sitting there like, "Oh, I had some projects for John but it sounds like he's busy so maybe I won't bother him" - NO. Bother me. I need to be this busy.

Comedy

*This Thursday, the 13th, I'm hosting at Speakers in Marlboro again. We should all go - we'll make it a great time. Here's the Facebook event for details.

*The bright side (eternal optimist!) of the Mets no longer being in the playoffs is there's really nothing for me to plan around with comedy. Last year I had a busy October and I watched a lot of the Mets' run to the World Series from bars waiting to perform. This year I was careful about what I scheduled...but Thursday for example, is up against the scheduled Game 5 of the NLDS which now there is no possibility of the Mets being in. So that's a weight off my shoulders scheduling-wise.

What I've Been Enjoying

*I guess this could have just as easily gone under 'Comedy' but I'm putting it here because - all things considered - there wasn't much else to enjoy this week: Due to scheduling changes at home, I've been able to go to a lot more comedy shows lately. My first year performing comedy I didn't like going to shows I wasn't on because I wasn't booked very much and I would sit and be antsy thinking, "I wish I was on stage." Then my next year I was getting on a lot of shows but I couldn't get out of the house much more than for open mics or the booked shows where I was performing. Now I have the time to get out more and more often and I'm going to all of the shows I can. One of the great ones I saw recently was 'Broad Appeal', which is put on by Christa Weiss. It's a monthly show that's kind of 'reverse-stacked' - where usually you're seeing showcases with a bunch of men and maybe one woman she'll have a lineup of women with a man or two thrown in. Christa is funny and does great work for the comedy community and if you can support this show you should. The next one is Saturday (the 15th) at The Armory in Somerville - here's the link to the Facebook event - it's the two-year anniversary show and this lineup is particularly good and features some of my favorite local comedians.

Notes

*Came really close to driving down for Wednesday's game. That would have been an upsetting 3-hour ride back late Wednesday night. Although, maybe if I had been in the ballpark the outcome would have been different. Is that possible? Nah. I'm not silly enough to believe my presence could affect the outcome of a game.

I just wore the wrong shirt. That's why they lost. I need to find a lucky shirt.

*Speaking of shirts - another shame of the Mets' loss is that their post-season-clinching shirt was great this year. It says "Made For October". My mom, bless her heart, got me one, but it now has a negative association since the team lost. But I might be able to keep wearing it because I do like the month of October a lot, so maybe I can wear it to imply a different meaning of the message.

*Long-time faithful readers will realize it's Columbus Day Weekend and I'm not in Pittsburgh. "What happened?" you might wonder. Well, life gets busy and even the best-laid ideas get tossed aside. I will return to the City Where Dreams Come True, but it won't be for this year's Jets-Steelers game. Instead I'll watch the Jets lose to the Steelers with my dad in New York.

*Lastly, everyone and their brother believes the Patriots will crush the Browns in Tom Brady's return. Of course it's likely - I picked New England in my Survivor Pool. But I really feel like it's one of those NFL games where everyone thinks one thing will happen and it turns out to be an upset. I've rarely been more nervous about a safe Survivor pick.